


silence like tigers and homecomings

by AwayLaughing



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blow Jobs, Developing Relationship, First Kiss, Flashbacks, Fluff, Frottage, Introspection, Loneliness, M/M, but can also only diverge as of Neji's death in canon, implied to have diverged at Pain's attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-03
Updated: 2015-08-03
Packaged: 2018-04-12 08:48:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4472942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwayLaughing/pseuds/AwayLaughing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being a shinobi can be lonely. It does not have to be, however. Sometimes, it just takes an unlikely person to reach out. Sometimes by reaching out, you even grab onto the hand of someone in need of one. Life takes many funny little turns.</p>
            </blockquote>





	silence like tigers and homecomings

Neji stared up at his ceiling and blinked into the darkness. Outside thunder roared, heralding a slowly encroaching storm which filled the air with a strange stillness. It was well past midnight he knew, if for no reason other than the fact he hadn't made it home from his post-mission debriefing and mandatory hospital stop over until almost eleven thirty pm. Sighing in frustration at his inability to sleep he tried to clear his mind, but found it impossible. His breath echoed in his ears like a drum and the darkness of night made everything louder.

The sudden ping of raindrops on the wooden roof was a welcome sound after three weeks scouring the hot, dry lands surrounding Suna, however. The silence, which should had been welcome after an equally long time listening to Kankuro and Kiba crack jokes about anyone and anything, was not.

Instead it left Neji with a sense of longing because Suna was hot and dry but the memory of cracked golden earth, shifting sands and jutting red stones painted by a dying sun made his unpainted fusuma panels and shoji doors dull. Lifeless and impersonal. Lonely.

 

Of course Suna had nothing on Konoha. Where Suna was a land scorched by sun Konoha was one blessed with the perfect amount of rain. It was surrounded by tall greenery and rushing rivers, mountains jutting out of the landscape like blackened vertebrae. A lush untamed mess of green to the desert's weathered and ancient austerity. The tiny bit of safety he had carved for himself in the compound was neither, it was a white hollow filled with too many unsatisfactory memories.

 

Wind did not whip at his hair here, the sun did not blister him, the night did not leave his teeth chattering and the thunder could not reach him. He was sheltered from the rain here, cut off from broad leaves and the quiet coos of birds and the roar of rapid waters, the living smell of wet soil.

 

It was damnably empty. Granted while Suna itself was a crowded city, the lands around it devoid of many things. At least during the day. However he'd shared a tent with three others while he'd been there. It had been cramped. He thought he'd be more than happy to leave it behind.

 

He wasn't. There was too much room here, not enough feeling. Strange really. It was supposed to be a sanctuary, not even the elders came in here without forewarning. However the lack of a warm body pressed against him, as Akamaru seemed inclined toward, was torture in the dampness. It seemed strange to him he hadn't noticed all this before.

 

He was lonely.

 

For many years he had been alone, and during those years he convinced himself he was anything but. Neji had once said he may be alone, that did not mean he was lonely. He insisted he did not need others. He hated his family, his team was too loud, most people too slow for him and those who were quick enough were too hotheaded. A thorough beating from Naruto and a week's worth of introspection had lead to the discovery that perhaps those things weren't true.

 

The chūnin exams proved there was at least one sane, cool headed genius in Konoha and though Lee was loud and Tenten did complain a lot they were his _team_. Despite his constant rebuttal of all things friendly when he'd shown up at their old practice ground eight days after the chūnin exams sore from healing wounds and wounded pride Lee had cried in relief, Tenten had beamed, Gai had hugged him and for once he did not fight it.

 

In retrospect he should have tried to shrug of Gai and Lee for no reason other than the fact he and Tenten were then subjected to almost an hour's worth of monologue on Youth and Camaraderie and a shiny eyed Lee. That point was, however, moot, as he hadn't stopped them.

 

Other memories; a laughing Naruto pressuring him into a meal at Ichiraku's, Chōji patting him gently on the shoulder in a show of friendship, Tenten dragging him to look at weapons, Sakura and Ino asking him about chakra points all flashed across closed eyelids. He recalled his days spent teaching Hinata and Hanabi, sitting in a field 'meditating' while pretending he was not playing fetch with Akamaru, shared reading spaces with Shino. They all painted the picture of the man that once bitter little boy had become.

 

Frustrated by his reminiscing Neji sat up abruptly, throwing off his cover as he scrambled to his feet. Silently he stalked over the tatami floor and opened his dresser.

 

 _It is one in the morning – you have nowhere to go_ insisted the more rational part of his mind even as he pulled out clothing. That part of his mind didn't appear to be in charge of the autopilot however and soon he was standing under the awning of his room, staring into curtains of rain. He didn't even grab an umbrella. In fact, Neji was not entirely sure he owned an umbrella.

 

He stepped out into the pounding rain with only a brief hesitation. It was mid autumn and the rain drove hard and cold enough to sting ever so slightly. Some blood red maple leaves clung damply to the broad, well worn stone of the courtyard while others were buffeted around by the northern winds in pungent, decaying clumps. He opted for a small servant's entrance as his way out, not wanting to wrestle open the main gate. The person on guard duty, an uncle a few times removed, eyed him warily but said nothing as the younger shinobi passed by.

 

As Neji walked he thought of everything and nothing, reviewing his mission, recollecting things from before the war and all the good things since. Like learning to make pancakes after a few too many shots at his ego regarding his inability to cook and teaching one of his younger cousins how to tie a compound double coin knot. It wasn't until he almost took a branch to the face that he even realized he was headed in the direction of the Nara compound.

 

The corners of his mouth twisted up into a tiny, wry smile. Showing up at the Nara's house at this hour was not going to make Shikamaru happy. It didn't surprise him that he thought to come here though. Even though their relationship was...complicated he felt at ease with the Nara. It was different than with his old team, Lee and Tenten were boundless energy and a desire to compete, to spar and to just _move_. Shikamaru was happy to relax, letting his own personality sooth Neji’s sometimes frantic - though carefully hidden - nature.

 

Granted it hadn’t always been like that.

 

“ _Should I be worried?”_

 

_It was only years of training that kept Neji from jumping. He was almost certain he had been quite subtle in his information gathering regarding one Nara Shikamaru._

 

“ _I can't imagine so,” Neji said, collecting himself and trying not to seem guilty. “You're only napping.” All the time too. Neji did not know how he managed. Six hours a day was fine for him, thank you kindly. Or four. Or two. Whatever came._

 

“ _Cloud gazing,” the other said,_ _looking at Neji from the corner of one eye. “Not napping.”_

 

 _Neji wanted to frown, but stuck with his usual stoney visage._ _The other shinobi of the village, not to mention it's so called allies_ , _had seen his mask slip far too many times during the exams._ H _e did not want any further chinks in his armour to be noted,_ _especially not by the world's laziest genius. “Well then,” he said, “that changes everything.”_

 

_A lazy smirk slowly crept across the Nara's tanned face and a hand fell to the side, patting the ground twice before linking his fingers together on his stomach again. “Sit.”_

 

_Neji didn't budge, merely bristled at the command. “I'm not a dog to be ordered around.”_

 

_For the first time the Nara looked at him head on, and Neji was startled by the way it roused his instinct to turn and leave. Though hooded, the twelve year old's dark eyes failed to hide his clever perceptiveness if only for a split second before annoyance and disinterest masked his face again. “Sit please, senpai. You're looming and it's making me skittish.”_

 

“ _You outrank me now,” Neji said, trying not to sound bitter. He sat down gingerly, legs crossed as he studied the other unabashedly now. “And I do not loom.” And you are anything but skittish, Neji did not say. He was not going to validate the lazy boy's teasing._

 

“ _I suppose that's true,” the Nara said shifting his gaze back to the clouds. Neji waited for him to clarify or say something extra but nothing was forthcoming. Neji looked up with him, trying to see something beyond condensation in a blue sky._

 

_Finally the Nara gave a quiet sigh and turned again to look at Neji. Or at least the Hyūga's knee since it seemed Shikamaru couldn't be bothered to hold his head up and make eye contact. “Was there a reason you've been following me for the two last weeks?”_

 

_Neji bit at his tongue, a chance to organize his thoughts until he finally uttered four words he avoided saying as much as possible. “I do not understand.” Shikamaru's annoyed mask slipped away and he propped himself up, head cocked. He didn't look interested, exactly, nor judgemental. Deliberating, was perhaps the best word._

 

 _Heaving another sigh he st_ ood _and stretche_ d _with a yawn before looking down at Neji. “Yeah, I know,”_ _he said, in a manner that was surprisingly unpatronizing. “Don't worry about it – most don't.”_

 

_With that he left a completely dumbfounded Neji on a little hill under the late afternoon sun._

 

Neji was a little surprised by the fact there was a light on at the Nara's one person cabin once he made it to his destination. Light from inside cast a faint glow on the path which branched off from the main road, proving Shikamaru was still awake despite the hour.

 

Shikamaru lived on the compound but not with his mother, and both buildings were simply two of a number of small homes strewn far and wide, making a semi-circle around the forest. Deer wander in and out at their leisure though none were present right now. Probably sheltering under the trees of one of the free standing stables within the forest. Neji pictured a herd of deer wandering onto his own clan's compound, chewing up the carefully tended and artfully arranged gardens and smirked.

 

Lightning streaked across the sky just as he stepped onto the porch, and Neji sighed in relief now that he was shielded from the rain. Not that it mattered, the Nara compound was almost on the opposite end of Konoha, right on the border and he was drenched, hair so heavy that his tie had fallen out some five minutes ago. He knocked perhaps more loudly than strictly necessary but the rain and thunder were deafening in his ears and distorted the sound around him.

 

It took only a moment before the door was wrenched open and an exhausted looking Shikamaru was looking back at him, brow furrowed in annoyed confusion. A few strands had escaped his ponytail and his shirt was so oversized it was all but falling off, making his glare rather ineffective. It was made more ineffective by the bruises from lack of sleep which ringed his eyes. They were also pinched at the corners in a disturbingly familiar sign of a headache. Neji frowned at the picture briefly before clearing his face and moving his attention to something Shikamaru was less likely to avoid talking about.

 

His own discomfort, was a good starting point actually. Now that he was more or less out of downpour and not being pounded by the rain Neji's hair was uncomfortable in the places where it stuck to his neck and he shifted his weight forward slightly before rocking back. “You look horrible,” he said by way of greeting.

 

Shikamaru snorted and rubbed the back of his neck nervously, stepping to the side in a silent invitation. “Thanks,” he said, face devoid of emotion save one cocked eyebrow. A familiarly guarded expression disguised as sardonic disinterest. “Tell me how you really feel.”

 

Neji declined the non-offer by going to the kitchen and wringing his hair out instead. Shikamaru closed the door with a quiet thump and the click of a lock before following, only to flop down at the kitchen table, files piled high around him. “Feel free to take some of my clothes,” he told the long haired man. “Don't want you dripping on the floor more than necessary.”

 

Neji scoffed at that, knowing Shikamaru didn't care about his floors, but did as directed. He liked Shikamaru's room, it had all the warmth and personality his own lacked. That fact was somewhat surprising knowing Shikamaru rather utilitarian approach to decor.

 

A silk painting took up the entire wall across from the door, a gift from Ino and Chōji. His bed was covered by a wrinkled handmade quilt and an ongoing shōgi game was nestled in the corner. Neji felt a pang at that. It was a game almost four years old, never to be finished. Recreated by Shikamaru to do something he had never properly explained to Neji. Find that ever elusive closure all grieving people were stuck searching for, maybe. Possibly it was just another way to remember one of the hundreds of fathers from Konoha who would never see their sons or daughters grow up. Something to personalize a history of shared suffering.

 

Looking away Neji stripped and draped his clothes over the door to be moved later. While not on the floor, Shikamaru's clothing was still a mess, shoved into his drawers rather than folded with no effort made to separate clothing types. Despite only less than an inch of difference in height between them Neji was just broad enough in the shoulders that he had to invest some time in finding a shirt. Damn skinny Naras. He ended up in yet another of Shikamaru's too large shirts and a pair of well loved sagging sleep pants, probably a gag-gift based on the smiley faces on them. Either way the ensemble was good enough for his current company who looked largely the same, though Shikamaru wouldn't have cared no matter his own form of dress.

 

Neji moved silently through the small house having long ago learned where the loose floorboards resided and came to a stop in the doorway of the kitchen. He stood there for a moment, taking stock of his friend, arms crossed. Shikamaru was hunched over, pen grasped a little too tightly as he adroitly deposited a file onto the tallest pile. “Reports?” Neji asked, somewhat confused.

 

Shikamaru may be lazy to a fault, but he had always been good at writing reports, and usually did it quickly. Getting chewed out by the hokage was more troublesome than writing them on time, the Nara claimed. Neji suspected it was the result of being raised by the jōnin commander himself. The two had shared quite a few traits, and a strong sense of duty covered by a laissez faire attitude was one of them.

 

“Paperwork.”

 

Neji cocked an eyebrow and leaned against the counter instead of sitting down. “What sort?” He suspected he was not allowed to know.

 

“The sort that needs signing,” was the terse dismissal, punctuated with an almost violent flourish of the pen.

 

Despite that Neji prodded a little more. “Do you want help?”

 

Shikamaru snorted in derision and finished annotating the paper in front him with rather jerky motions, an uncharacteristically obvious sign of annoyance. “We can't all get what we want,” he said. His voice was low and ragged and without thinking Neji stepped forward and grabbed the kettle.

 

“I'm making tea,” he said as if it was for his own benefit. “Would you like some?”

 

“Sure,” Shikamaru said. He didn't seem to think the fact Neji 'stick up the ass' Hyuuga, a nickname lovingly bequeathed by Kiba some three years past, was going through his cupboards was at all strange. Perhaps it wasn't. Neji had become almost as familiar with the Nara's tiny home over the years as he had Shikamaru himself. Barely a year ago it had been his refuge on the rare days he’d spent in Konoha.

 

_Neji sat at the bar, letting Naruto's babbling wash over him. it was a relief hearing the blond chatter on, flirting – poorly – with Sakura and arguing with Kiba. He'd been so silent for so long, a shell of the vibrant young man who had crowed his intentions to become hokage. He’d been like this for the better part of half a year, but the fear he’d slip away again lingered among his friends. Sasuke's defeat had been a blessing and a burden. He could see it in the way Sakura sometimes stared off into the distance, the way Naruto seemed to cling all the more tightly to his friends. Right now they both seemed fine, Naruto's grin wasn't forced and Sakura's eyes were shining with happiness as she gossiped and teased – no tears in sight._

 

“ _What's he on now? Shot number five?” Shikamaru's voice was low and close and Neji flinched a little. Shikamaru was one of the few who managed to sneak up on him with anything resembling consistency. Unlike Hanabi, at least, he wasn't prone to giggling about it._

 

“ _Nine,” Neji said. “Apparently not even the kyuubi can increase alcohol tolerance._ ‘Or maybe he just wants to be drunk.’ _Shikamaru didn't so much as sit down as collapse next to him, one hand propping his chin up, the other wrapped loosely around a sake bottle. “Tell me you haven't been drinking straight from that thing,” Neji said and Shikamaru gave a breathy laugh in response,_ not speaking _. “That's not a no,” a frown quickly formed to mar Neji's brow as he spoke._

 

_Shikamaru had been as shattered by his father and Inoichi-samas deaths as Sakura and Naruto had Sasuke's final, permanent abandonment. Granted, it was in his own way and Neji privately thought it more valid, even as it encroached on three years. Neji knew how grief clung to people, or how they clung to grief. It was harder to tell with Shikamaru, he was never one for beaming smiles and flirting, but Neji knew, just like Ino and Chouji knew. He wasn't prone to shouting matches in the street, or proclaiming his angst for all of Konohagakure to hear. Shikamaru was a more private person, and he kept the grief of his father's and adoptive uncle's deaths private too._

 

“ _It's not,” Shikamaru agreed and Neji's fingers twitched once in consideration before he gave into his instincts and took the bottle. Shikamaru didn't fight him for it, just sighed._

 

“ _Do you want to go home?” Neji asked him – Shikamaru wasn't drunk, that much was obvious, but he was getting there. Neji was stone sober however, for no reason other than to run interference. Drunken shinobi were very rough on property. Hell,_ sober _shinobi were rough on property._ _It was why the term 'shinobi' bar mostly meant a place with cheap furniture and few windows._

 

“ _No,” Shikamaru said._ _The way he said it seemed almost indefinite, as if he never wanted to go back. Neji knew because it was how he often sounded when asked if he wanted to go home. Now the compound was just a place to stay between missions, or to visit Hanabi and Hinata. He spent a lot of time elsewhere. Lee, Tenten or Shikamaru's respective couches being the usual spots._ _Even Gai-sensei's, on the nights when the clan lands were just too much and he needed somewhere no one would look to retreat._

 

“ _Do you want to stay?”_ S _hikamaru just sh_ ook _his head and Neji stood, leaving the bottle and gentl_ y _grabbing Shikamaru's elbow. “Come,” he said and Shikamaru followed without question,_

 

_Neji lead him down streets, past houses all while keeping a hold on the other. Shikamaru stumbled once over a loose rock but managed to right himself with no help, vindictively kicking the stone away into a ditch. They ended up at one of Shikamaru's more common cloud gazing spots – the tree on a hill he'd left Neji all those years ago – and Shikamaru all but threw himself down. Neji was more careful, sitting so he could see all of Shikamaru's sprawled form. In the dark Shikamaru's expression was hard to read, or it was so long as Neji resisted the urge to activate the byakugan, so the next words he said were a shock._

 

“ _I care about you.” The frank honesty of the confession caught Neji off guard and he looked away, up at the stars. They'd not talked about...It... since Naruto and Kiba's stunt. They'd used their jobs as excuses to avoid meaningful conversation, subtly dodging on another with polite small talk and quiet or group meetings. Politeness jutsu, Tenten has teasingly called it._

 

“ _Good,” he said after he managed to map out three constellations. “That's good. I care about you too.” Shikamaru gave a tired chuckle and sat up fully, scooting over to Neji. He smelt of pine and firewood, sake and the lingering scent of disinfectant. The last one stood out Neji wracked his mind trying to remember if Shikamaru had been on a mission lately. If he’d been injured or perhaps just visiting Ino at the hospital._

 

“ _Good,” Shikamaru echoed, a slight wryness to his voice. “Could get awkward otherwise,” even as he spoke Shikamaru frowned, as if he hadn't meant to say that. It was fleeting, however, quickly transition into a look that was almost closer to nervous decisiveness. Neji took the rapid-fire emotional swing in stride – Shikamaru was a bit of a mercurial, grumpy drunk at the best of times. “Will you do something for me, Neji?”_

 

_Neji raised an eyebrow. “That depends,” he said instead of probabl,y even if the latter was more true than the former. He was willing to do more for Shikamaru than he was strictly comfortable, never having liked extending himself emotionally. Never had he liked allowing that sort of vulnerability, even among friends. Worse still was the fact he couldn’t bring himself to overcome it, to withdraw again and throw up his walls and defenses. That wasn’t a phenomenon unique to Shikamaru, it existed among all his friends - mostly - and his closest cousins._

 

“ _Kiss me.”_

 

_Neji's breath stopped in his throat at the words. A part of him hadn't expected a repeat, worried his own avoidance had lead to the opportunity passing him by. He’d allowed himself to believe he could handle a lifetime of those awkward encounters until finally they drifted apart of overcame it into cool but friendly dispassion. It had been three months after all. Three months of mission after mission so he could be anywhere but Konoha. Anything to get away from the temptation and the fact he kept willingly throwing himself into its arms every time it walked by._

 

“ _Please?” in the moonlight Shikamaru's face was bared, uncertain but undeterred. Neji couldn't think of a proper response so he pulled the other forward, gently._

 

_It was a simple press of lips, soft, chaste and warm. It wasn't the passionate, nearly dominant kiss from before. Any before, including the ones who preceded Shikamaru. Suddenly he didn't know what to do with his hands and his breath was still locked in his throat. It was too much and not enough. Too much because of the sudden weight that seemed to settle over him, like Shikamaru’s sadness was a heavy cloak. Not enough because he could practically taste everything Shikamaru kept hidden, his frustrations and hurt and even passion._

 

_Maybe Shikamaru felt something similar from him, or could taste the same thing on his own tongue, because he pressed forward, hand brushing tenderly across Neji’s jaw, thumb brushing his pulse. Neji mimicked the closeness by tangling a hand in Shikamaru's shirt, feeling the sinewy muscles that clung to the other's ribs, the beat of his heart. He let himself enjoy the heat that quickly built up despite the autumn nip, felt the breeze brush his cheek as he tilted his head slightly to avoid bumping noses. His other hand skimmed up Shikamaru's neck, feeling the tight tendons and soft skin before cupping the younger man's jaw in his palm. His thumb pressed down lightly at the temple, drawing tiny circles and his fingers dug lightly into the Nara's dark hair which was damp enough to suggest he'd showered and tied it up before joining their friends._

 

_Shikamaru's arms wrapped around him completely, clinging tighter than necessary though Neji found he didn't particularly mind. He parted his lips, sucking Shikamaru's bottom lip slightly, tasting saké and cinnamon, and odd combination. Feeling Shikamaru so tense was distracting and odd, however, and so he let his hand stroke Shikamaru's side in slow, lazy movements. Soothing, or so he hoped. Shikamaru shuddered and his fingers, blunted by cloth, dug into Neji's back as Shikamaru parted his own lips in silent permission – or maybe as a request – which Neji obliged with a shallow swipe of his tongue._

 

_He had definitely never kissed someone like this, intimate and so full of need. This was no adrenaline fuelled post-op make out, or pre-fucking courtesy. It was slow and sensual and terrifying in it's naked, unashamed emotion. Even as the thought struck Shikamaru pulled back in a small, jerky movement, bumping his nose with Neji's. Neji tried to angle his head further so he could see Shikamaru's face, but the others eyes were down turned, and he soon simply dropped forward, head resting on Neji's shoulder with a weary sigh._

 

_Neji frowned, letting his arm lock around Shikamaru's waist so he couldn't change his mind and escape. Their kneeling position wasn't ideal for this, exactly, as his knees were spread wide and Shikamaru's added weight had upset his balance somewhat because of the incline, but he made no move to rearrange himself, scared to shatter the calm around them. The smell of fresh cut grass carried on the wind and the air promised rain – stars shone uninhibited however and the moon was full. It washed everything out, making the situation seem even less real._

 

_Shikamaru gave another sigh, his own arms still clinging to Neji, and he shifted slightly into a more comfortable position, giving Neji silent permission to move. In an admirable feat of dexterity and ingenuity he managed to sit back until he was resting against the tree without letting go. They were plastered together, but Neji was at least able to stretch his legs out and let Shikamaru settle there. His face was now buried into Neji's neck and the damp warmth of his breath made the tiny hairs on the elder's neck stand._

 

“ _I'm not very good at this,” Neji said, knowing Shikamaru would understand._

 

 _Shikamaru took a deep breath and release_ d _it in tiny stutters. “Yeah,” he said. “I know._ ”

 

_It was Neji’s turn to echo Shikamaru. “Yeah,” he agreed and Shikamaru allowed a small chuckle at how incongruous it was to hear Neji – uptight upright proper Neji – use the phrase. He didn’t say anything however, and Neji didn’t know what to say. Questions seemed inappropriate._

 

 _So Neji just brushed a stray piece of hair behind a somewhat cold ear in response to the loaded silence and waited._ _For a few minutes it seemed like Shikamaru was going to keep withholding anything until finally he broke the silence._

 

“ _I’m scared,” he admitted._

 

_Neji wasn’t surprised. Shikamaru strained to cause no one else any problems, to carry things himself until he was stuck struggling to overcome his isolation, like forcing a door open despite rusted hinges. Eventually, people fished him out, usually Ino or Chouji, but Neji had seen that lost look as Shikamaru watched their friends. The longing and confusion and reticence to leave that cold comfort._

 

_If anything, Neji was fairly certain Shikamaru had at some point developed a fear of living._

 

“ _That is alright,” he said instead of any of those things, unwilling to shatter this fragile moment with criticism or overstepped boundries._

 

“ _No,” Shikamaru said, not defiantly but sad. “I’m scared because I don’t know what I’m doing and no one can tell me and I can’t,” he stopped, and Neji heard him swallow. “I can’t ask for help anyway.”_

 

“ _You won’t,” Neji corrected. “You are not the inconvenience you seem to think you are.”_

 

_Shikamaru tensed. “You really think that?”_

 

_Neji shook his head, knowing Shikamaru would feel it at least. “I know it,” he corrected._

 

Shikamaru's progress was slow. He stared at the pages a little too long and kept rubbing at his eyes with the palm of his hand. Ink stained his fingers, marks of an unusual clumsiness and he was chewing his lip so hard Neji thought he saw blood.

 

The young strategist made it through three more reports and the clock struck half past two before Neji's impatience and worry caught up with him and he rose to stand behind the other. Without a word he took the pen from Shikamaru's fingers and closed the report, coaxing Shikamaru into a stand in the space of a few seconds.

 

“Wha-”

 

“You'll finish in the morning,” he said as he brushed his thumb across Shikamaru's cheekbone, hoping the familiar action would catch Shikamaru off guard enough to relax a little., He found himself tracing the bruises beneath his eyes which indicated severe lack of sleep, upset by the implied fact. “Relax.”

 

“Ironic coming from you.” It was not meant as a barb and carried no vitriol, just an observation between two tired friends. Neji was less a morning person or night owl than he was a minimal sleep person. His hands came up and wrapped loosely around Neji's wrist, not in an attempt to dislodge him, just to have something to do as he spoke. Neji nipped at his bottom lip in response, a meaningless rebuke and Shikamaru grinned shakily, pressing as close as he could before slanting his mouth across Neji's. The faintest tang of blood confirmed Neji's earlier suspicions, and the taste of green tea mingled with wet iron on his lips.

 

Shikamaru parted his lips slightly and managed to draw Neji's between his own before a sigh tore out of the elder. He shifted his grasp so his fingers tangled in dark hair and forced the others head back as gently as possible. In return Shikamaru's hands slid up and lock together at the nape of Neji's neck. It forced them chest to chest, hip to hip. It was a distraction technique, one Neji was having none of and with a final kiss to the hinge of Shikamaru's jaw he pulled away.

 

“Bed, Shikamaru,” Neji said, tugging him toward the bedroom.

 

“It's so much farther than the couch,” Shikamaru said, a hint of a whine in his voice, “can't I sleep there?”

 

“No.”

 

“Troublesome.”

 

The use of his catchphrase eased some of the worry Neji was working to hide, proof that the strategist was not lost in a black mood, simply having a rough day. Neji hummed softly in acknowledgement, smiling ever so slightly, ushering the younger shinobi into the bedroom.

 

Shikamaru made his own way to the bed, letting Neji close the sliding doors and falling face first into the covers. Neji snorted and manipulated him _under_ the quilt and sheets – and onto his back so he didn't smother himself – tugging out his hair tie before sliding in with him. Shikamaru immediately turned onto his side, snuggling into Neji's chest. Neji bit his lip to hide a smile and stroked a hand through his slightly tangled hair. If Shikamaru could have purred he would have, his head pushing up into the sensations.

 

Neji complied, pressing down and kneading gently. Breathing deeply he started to work slow circles into the other's head, a kind of one handed, impromptu message. As he worked their breaths evened out and synched up, deep and meditative. As Neji's fingers slowly eased tension from Shikamaru's cranium the rest of his muscles followed suit, loosening until Shikamaru lay completely lax against Neji's frame.

 

After a few minutes – ten maybe fifteen, Neji stopped though he did not remove his hand. Instead he simple pet it through Shikamaru's hair, working the tangles he'd noted earlier free. Shikamaru's breath remained even and though his eyes were closed Neji could feel his heart beating just a little too fast for him to be asleep.

 

“I'm surprised you're not off in dreamland,” Neji said as he finally disentangled his hand.

 

Shikamaru's lips quirked ever so slightly upward and his eyelashes fluttered into a half mast position. “'s a close thing,” he said, “very close.”

 

“And what's keeping you awake?”

 

Shikamaru's eyes drifted closed again and he sighed. “Ghosts and demons,” he admitted and Neji pressed a kiss to his brow to stop him from frowning. “And I may actually be too tired to sleep – I've been awake since Thursday morning.”

 

Neji winced – it was Saturday, granted very early on Saturday. Shikamaru twisted in his grasp in response to the flinch so his chin was propped on a strong chest. Despite his obvious exhaustion – his eyes were literally slipping shut as Neji watched, Shikamaru was obviously studying him and at last he sighed, shifting into a less neck straining position.

 

“Thank you, Neji,” he said, voice a whisper as sleep quickly came to take him.

 

“Any time,” Neji said, his own eyes slipping shut as he finally fell into the sleep that had eluded him.

* * *

Neji woke content and warm enough he couldn't have mistaken Shikamaru's room for his own quarters even if the smell weren't so different. Shikamaru was always keeping the windows open so the whole house smelt continually of detritus, wood and today, rain water. In a few weeks it would smell like frost and he'd have to start closing the windows and allow wood smoke to take over instead. The Nara-ke could be as old fashioned as any other clan in their own way, with a penchant for non-centralized heating and one story houses.

 

Next to him, or rather slightly on top of him, Shikamaru was dead to the world. Neji strained to find the clock and wasn't surprised to see it was slightly past noon. The younger jōnin had that effect on him; it was like he was capable of actually sucking the motivation and energy from people. What Shikamaru did with it since he obviously wasn't using it for himself Neji didn't know.

 

Taking a deep breath he found his muscles to be well relaxed, the only pain a few bruises from the mission, and he allowed a tiny smile.

 

“Afternoon,” Shikamaru mumbled, face buried into Neji's neck. “Sleep well?”

 

Neji hummed in response and felt Shikamaru smile.

 

“Good.”

 

“Yes, rather,” Neji agreed. “Yourself?”

 

“I slept wonderfully,” Shikamaru said as he rolled off Neji, “but I am not looking forward to finishing those reports.” He eyed his guest sleepily, and Neji took a moment to study his face. The pinch around his eyes was still present, meaning the headache had lasted all night, or the other was awake long enough for it to have returned again. He did look much better rested, however.

 

“Did you pull a neck muscle on your last assignment?” Neji asked as he sat up and stretched. Shikamaru followed suit, though much more languidly, and shook his head.

 

“Stress headaches,” he said, a small pout on his face. At some point in the night he'd shucked off his shirt, and his pants were riding low enough to show two sharp hip bones. It was a look Neji could appreciate without shame. Shikamaru chuckled at the blatant staring.

 

“Don't look at me like that,” he said, “I've got to finish those damn files.” He grimaced, running a hand through loose hair, trying to gather it into a pony tail. Neji ignored the first part and watched him for a moment longer before wordlessly handing him a shirt.

 

“Just how important are those reports?” Neji asked, running a hand through his own hair to get out the worst of the tangles. He grimaced when he hit a particularly bad snarl. It's what he got for going to bed with damp, unbraided hair. “And where in the name of all that is green is your brush?” Shikamaru waved at the desk he used for writing when he needed a change of pace from the office. It was littered with maps and various clan papers now though, likely why Shikamaru was doing reports in his kitchen.

 

“Second drawer on the right,” he said. “I don't really have any breakfast food.”

 

Neji recognized an avoidance tactic when he saw one, even if it was clumsier than Shikamaru's usual. “You only have ten more reports,” Neji said. He was fishing, they both knew it, but something seemed off. Shikamaru _never_ focused this much on paperwork.

 

“Only ten more,” he said, looking unimpressed. “And yet they each go on forever,” he sighed, “I never thought I'd _miss_ field work. Don't,” he added after a heartbeat, “tell Kakashi I said that.”

 

“On my honour,” Neji replied with mock solemnity. They walked out into the kitchen together, Shikamaru obviously unhappy with his task. Neji watched him sit down without so much as going to start up the tea and start reviewing a particularly thick file. They were all at least ten pages thick each, since Shikamaru seemed to have done the shorter or less detailed ones first.

 

Watching Shikamaru was an exercise in feeling unwanted. On one hand, the Nara did not throw him out, which he certainly had done before. On the other, his back was hunched, shoulders tight and he was angled away from Neji as best as he could. His breathing was even shallow. Everything screamed that he wanted – maybe needed – to be alone.

 

“Should I come back later?” Neji asked finally, “after I make the tea?”

 

Shikamaru closed his eyes tight at that, setting down his pen. “Yes, I mean I just...these aren't....”

 

“They're not execution orders, are they?”

 

Shikamaru jerked up at that, looking surprised before a small smile graced his otherwise unhappy features. “No they're...well...they're ROOT files.” Neji, in middle of getting water into the kettle, stilled.

 

“And they're only being sorted now?”

 

Shikamaru snorted. “I wouldn't even _know_ about them if Sai hadn't told me,” Shikamaru said. “They're not...well they are important...it was important work but it wasn't done _right_ or even for the right reasons and...” he set both hands flat on the table, a self calming gesture. “I'll file them by three at the latest,” Shikamaru said. Not looking at Neji, “they'll be open for public reading then.”

 

“From ROOT classification to _public_?” Neji asked, surprised by the jump and wondering what in Monju's name would be considered so important by one group and so unimportant to the other. And _why_ it sounded like Shikamaru wanted him to read them. “What is it, Danzō's diary?”

 

Shikamaru laughed. “No,” he said, “and not public-public, A-rank jōnin and up can see it.” Neji considered the list of candidates. “It would have been B-rank but,” Shikamaru made an odd motion as if to cut himself short. “Just...it's...useful but technically still ultra secret.”

 

“For another,” Neji glanced at the clock even as he returned to boiling the water, “two hours.”

 

“Yes,” Shikamaru said. And that was the end of that discussion.

 

* * *

Neji had not stayed at the Nara's little cabin long after the water was boiled, just long enough to make a cup for Shikamaru. The Nara had, at least, told him to stay long enough to enjoy his own tea, but Neji had declined. Not because he had anything better to do but because the temptation to peek had been killing him.

 

Now he was walking around Konoha's downtown, dressed in borrowed clothing and wondering what he should do. He did not have to think long.

 

“Oi Neji!” Naruto's voice rang along the street, though most people ignored him. The exuberant blond came to a screeching halt in front of Neji, grinning ear to ear and vibrating on the spot. “Just the man I was looking for!”

 

Neji eyed the other jōnin with open, undisguised scepticism. “Why?” he asked finally, knowing what Naruto was waiting for.

 

“Food!” he proclaimed, “you, me and Ichiraku, then a date with the Hokage! Well, not a date but we're both going that way.”

  
“What makes you think I have any interest in eating ramen with you?” Neji asked even as he followed the other to his preferred eatery, even as he filed the information away. Naruto gave a mock gasp of horror.

 

“Only the truly _awful_ don't like ramen,” Naruto said.

 

“I did not say I didn't like ramen,” Neji pointed out. “And is there any reason you aren't reporting straight to Kakashi-sama?”

 

Naruto shruddered, “dude, don't call him that. He doesn't even like it. And I'm after you and you're not until,” he said. Neji glanced at the sun, it was about twenty to. “Anyway, we're here now! Konnichiwa Ayame-neesan!”

 

“Hello Naruto-kun,” she said with a wide smile. “Father is out right now, but he said to say hello if you came by today.” She offered a short, polite bow to Neji. “Hello Hyūga-san.”

 

Neji gave her a polite nod in return, sliding onto a seat next to Naruto. “Hello Ayame-san,” he said, “I hope you're well.”

 

“Oh indeed,” she said, smiling widely at them. “Oh- the usual Naruto? -” she proceeded when he nodded. “What do you want Hyūga-san?”

 

“Shoyo with extra shiitake, hold the ginger, plum and wakame please.” Ayame nodded her understanding, and Neji turned his gaze to Naruto. “What?”

 

“I took you for a tonkotsu kind of guy,” Naruto said, “and do you usually hold your wakame? I didn't think you did.” Neji rolled his eyes.

 

“Of all the things you focus on Naruto,” he said, “it's my preferred _ramen_?” Naruto nodded sagely.

 

“Ramen is important,” he said. He looked like he was going to extrapolate, possibly start talking about the link between broth preference and personality, but two bowls were placed before them with surprising promptness. Neji did not let his surprise show, not wanting to insult Ayame-san's expertise, and Naruto gave a small cheer at the sight.

 

“Itadakimasu,” they chorused before setting about eating. Well, Neji ate. Naruto went through his at an unholy speed more akin to inhalation. It was quite the contrast to Neji's more sedate approach. It was slow enough, in fact, that he finished his meal at the same time Naruto was polishing off a second bowl.

 

“I'll pay,” Naruto said easily. “I made so much extra money off that caravan guard stint,” he pulled a grimace. “Almost not worth it though.” Neji rolled his eyes.

 

“If you'd not insisted on a proper A rank instead of taking actual medical advice you'd have been sent on something more exciting within two weeks,” he pointed out.

 

“You're such a kill joy like always,” Naruto said, “Lee didn't rub off at all!” Naruto slid his money onto the counter, “Gochisōsama deshita Ayame! You're just like Shikamaru though.”

 

“Gochisōsama deshita,” Neji echoed faintly, more focused on that interesting little tidbit. “And in what way am I like the least ambitious of our cohort,” which given how ambitious everyone else was didn't actually mean he lacked motivation any longer.

 

“I went to go visit him, catch up y'know, and he slammed the door in my face. I brought movies and food and everything! Ended up with Chōji and Sakura which wasn't bad, at least.

 

“Hng,” was all Neji said, thinking back to how agitated Neji's presence had made him this morning, but how he'd let him into the house at least. Maybe he'd taken pity on Neji because of the rain. “He had his reasons,” he said finally. Naruto rolled his eyes.

 

“You would say that,” he said. “You're like an old married couple.”

 

Neji cocked an eyebrow. “And how many old married couples do you have to compare us to, exactly?” Naruto opened his mouth but stopped. It was not a long list of options, after all.

 

“The Akimichi's,” he said finally. “But like...not in the way people usually mean it. You guys don't,” he waved his hands in a vague motion, “you don't fight or pick at each other but...” he seemed to, for once, actually think about what he was saying. “you guys don't really date, either. I mean, you never go out together, not really, but you don't go out with other people at _all_.” Neji frowned.

 

“We're out,” he said. “You even paid for my meal.” Naruto grinned, nudging him.

 

“You're being difficult,” he said. “I would know. Anyway, it's not big deal Neji, everyone knows you never wanted to have kids or even get married, and Shikamaru said he wanted an average life as an average shinobi but well, we all know that's a lie.”

 

And it was, truly, a lie. Or, maybe it hadn't been at the time but Neji was well aware Shikamaru had zero interest in a boring, pretty wife and two boring, pretty children. Naruto clapped him on the back. “So yeah, no big deal, I mean, your fanclubs are probably kind of put out but,” he danced away from Neji's head slap at the reminder of the ten or so adolescent girls who giggled every time he walked by.

 

“I do not remember that being a problem when I was younger,” Neji told Naruto. Naruto snickered.

 

“Well, when we were nine there was a rumour going around you were actually a robot,” Neji raised an eyebrow but didn't interrupt, “and then when you graduated to genin there was a rumour that Tenten was killing off the competition and you were off limits.” He grinned as Neji allowed a tiny smile at _that_ thought. Never had there been a more mutually exclusive interest in the sexes than there was between Tenten and Neji.

 

“Ridiculous,” he said as they finally found themselves at the Hokage's tower.

 

“What's ridiculous?” Izumo asked, lounging by the door in a rather suspicious way. Neji didn't bother telling him, while Naruto snickered.

 

“Just something from when we were kids,” he said. “Is Kakashi-sensei ready?”

 

“Kakashi-sama,” Izumo said pointedly, ignoring the face Naruto pulled “is indeed waiting for you. Have fun!” The two jōnin ignored him as they made their way up the stairs, though Naruto did nod to Kotestu as they passed. Like usual, he pulled some stupid face or other and they walked away before he could actually say anything, hearing _rude!_ shouted after them in the hall.

 

“What is going on?” Naruto asked as they knocked on the door to Kakashi's office. It open before Neji could admit he had no idea. Inside, Kakashi was finishing flipping through the former ROOT files, enough so that he largely ignored them until he finished reading what seemed to be the last one.

 

“Naruto, youcan go sit in the waiting room like everyone else,” he said by way of greeting, “and hello Neji, you're only five minutes early.” He raised a silver eyebrow, “you're practically late.”

 

Naruto snorted as he left, and Neji gave Kakashi a mocking bow in reply. “By who's standards, exactly?”

 

“Your like Junmai from concentrate,” as always, was the only reply.

 

Neji didn't react, understanding the reference but not minding it. He'd been called worse than dry, after all, including from senior officers. And Kakashi was hardly one to complain, the man might as well be a desert himself. “As you say,” Neji said instead. “to what do I owe the pleasure Hokage-sama, another mission?”

 

“Nah,” Kakashi waved a hand at his desk. “Well, not nah, but you're staying in Konoha for the foreseeable future,” under his mask, Neji saw him grin even as the Hyūga himself narrowed his eyes. “How do you feel about treasure hunts, Neji?”

* * *

Neji was unsurprised to find the house empty when he entered. Shikamaru preferred to be outside, even if he didn't like to move around a lot. As it was, he was simply on the back porch, dozing in the shade while a young doe nibbled on grass, her mother watched from further on, where trees met empty yard.

 

“A little birdie told me you had a date with Kakashi today,” Shikamaru said by way of greeting. Neji wasn't surprised really, Izumo seemed to have taken on an attempt at a big brother role since Shikaku's death. Given their relation on Yoshino's side, if wasn't entirely unfounded though Shikamaru seemed more bemused by it than anything.

 

“Little birdies need to keep their beaks to themselves,” he said, settling next to Shikamaru. “I've been conscripted into a subset of ANBU.”

 

“I think that's top secret,” Shikamaru said, but sounded not at all surprised. “You're up to some gardening, hmm?”

 

Neji hummed in agreement and pulledShikamaru into a loose hold. They looked at each other for a moment before Neji placed a rather chaste kiss to Shikamaru's lips.

 

“I'm relieved, honestly,” Neji said. “It's festered too long.” Shikamaru nodded, and Neji kissed him again. “But I do not truly wish to discuss work tonight.”

 

Shikamaru smiled slightly. “Soba for supper?” he asked, pulling away and Neji nodded, following him into the kitchen.

 

“A bit early, isn't it?”

 

Shikamaru smiled at him, a salacious twist of his lips and flash of teeth. “I'm entertaining the thought of any early bed time,” he said. “You care to join me?”

 

Neji's own answering smile was every bit as suggestive as the Nara's. “Of course.”

 

* * *

Bed time, as they dubbed it, wasn't quite as early as four in the afternoon, once they settle for supper. It was reheated herring soba, which was suspicious at best because Shikamaru doesn't really like herring or soba all that much. If Neji hadn't known better he'd think he was being bribed. When asked about it Shikamaru had shrugged and said something pithy and completely evasive. Neji let it go in favour of enjoying the evening.

 

Konohagakure was by virtue of it's position a fairly warm village. The biggest hint that winter was coming was the fact the sun was dipping below the skyline by seven, as Neji coaxed Shikamaru into the bedroom, even as they stayed plastered together.

 

In all honesty, Neji just happened to love kissing Shikamaru. It was something he sould do far more often than he did. The only thing stopping him was the fact exhibitionism didn't appeal to either of them. In a shinobi village the chances of having a voyeur stumble upon you were already high enough without upping the ante oneself. So they kept public displays to the barest of minimums. Namely, not at all. But right now, Neji was not thinking about voyeurs and propriety.

 

Neji was, in fact, so focused on the kiss, the slick, teasing dart of tongue, the familiarly light pressure of teeth and the firm press of chests, of lips, legs and hands, that he completely failed to notice even the bed. He managed to half catch himself as he fell back, landing with his elbows propping him up. A smile, a real and very fond one, tugged at Shikamaru's lips as he stared down at Neji, and Neji found himself returning it with ease.

 

Wordlessly the younger shinobi clambered over Neji's lap, straddling him. For a moment he hovered there, lips a breath away from Neji's. “Neji,” he said at last, sounding strange to the older jōnin's ears. Neji cocked his head, waiting for the rest of the sentence but it didn't come. Instead, Shikamaru swooped in for another kiss, fingers tangling in Neji's borrowed yukata. After the war he'd never returned to his old robes, he liked the sense of community that came with the jōnin blues and green flak jacket. He found more pride in being a shinobi of Konohagakure than being a Hyūga.

 

In turn, Neji immediately went for Shikamaru's hair tie, grinning into the kiss when Shikamaru moaned beautifully when at his tugging at it. “Such simple things, Nara-san,” Neji murmured to the other, pulling away.

 

Despite the relative tameness of their actions, his pants are beginning to feel tight, and he envied Shikamaru, dressed in loose sleep pants and a knit sweater. Shikamaru snorted noncommittally and pushed open the green fabric of the kimono, letting it hang precariously from Neji's shoulders, lowering his head to nip at one pale collar bone.

 

“You're a cocky bastard,” he said and Neji raked his fingers down the other's tanned back.

 

“My parents were married Nara,” he said, “and it's not cockiness if I can back the statement up.” That was his only warning before he gave another, harder tug, biting at the familiar jaw.

 

“There's a Kiba-level joke in there somewhere,” Shikamaru said, “but I'm not going to take it.”

 

Neji smothered a chuckled by sucking a bruise into existence under Shikamaru's ear, his hands riding up under Shikamaru's shirt. Shikamaru was warm and firm under his hands, the planes of his stomach marked by muscle and the occasional thin scar. Fingers directed by memory they brushed one long, slightly thicker scar that lay slanted downward across the last few ribs. He remembered how Shikamaru got that scar, actually, not least because of the mission itself.

 

 _Neji pinned Shikamaru to the sandy ground of the cave almost the second they entered it, a snarl locked in his throat as he_ _pressed their lips together and fisted Shikamaru's rather tattered flack jacket. His own jacket was better off thanks to the kaiten, and though the reinforced fabric of Shikamaru's was a mess he had few cuts beneath it, the metal that had done the damage slowed by the vest. The cloth in his hands was damp from a combination of blood and rain water, as was Shikamaru's hair, and he tasted of wet iron – likely due to the split lip. Shikamaru seemed to take exception to it having been reopened in the kiss, as he grabbed a handful of Neji's hair and tugged. Hard._

 

“ _Fuck,” Neji swore as his head was forced back and a hot tongue lashed at his jaw._

 

“ _Mmhmm,” Shikamaru said, apparently agreeing. His free hand was pressing into Neji's thigh, clenching and unclenching in a distinctly distracting,_ inviting _manner. Neji responded by letting his hands loosen and skim down Shikamaru's sides – his left caught a long, shallow cut across Shikamaru's ribs and earned him a soft yelp followed by a hard bite to his shoulder._

 

“ _Sorry,” Neji said because he wasn't really interested in injuring Shikamaru further – or at all. He just wanted...he drew a blank on what exactly he wanted but he was pretty sure it included Shikamaru's pants not being on. Shikamaru just gave him a bone-tired chuckle, the hand in Neji's hair loosening to gentle message the scalp that was still stinging._

 

“ _'s okay,” he said, fixing Neji with a look that allowed a certain amount of vulnerability mixed with desire. Combined with the fact Neji had just watched him take down four enemies in one move – proving that Shikamaru was not vulnerable or delicate when he did not choose to be, it had a powerful effect. It wasn't a surprising one either – shinobi called it the Jitters. When your mind and body couldn't sync up and agree the fight was over. When you escape a situation just barely and a combination of fear, victory and standard shinobi-brand ruthlessness sung in your veins you had two options – fight or fuck._

 

_In that vein of thought Neji rolled his hips down, feeling Shikamaru's taught body tighten further beneath him. With a gentleness he'd not shown yet he kissed Shikamaru again, grinding hard and enjoying the sigh Shikamaru let slip past his own lips and between Neji's._

 

“You with me, Neji?” Shikamaru asked from his current position, looking amused. Neji nodded, rubbing the scar again.

 

“Just remembering,” Neji said, Shikamaru sighed.

 

“That was a shitty mission,” he said, “and you lied to me.”

 

“When?”

 

“You promised to burn Intel down with me,” the mischievous glint in those dark eyes would have caught Neji off guard during the early days of their interactions, but he'd learned. Shikamaru hadn't befriended a prankster like Naruto out of simple kindness after all – he too had been a preteen boy. A very, very bored one with far too much intelligence at his disposal and not a lot of desire to do anything with it. Before Neji could defend himself Shikamaru bent, kissing his bottom lip. “But I forgive you,” he continued, untying Neji's kimono with a dismissive flick of his wrist. The thin blue and black obi slithered to the floor as the knot came undone and the yukata opened fully.

 

Clever fingers tweaked a nipple – further removing the chance to respond so instead Neji slid his hands down to Shikamaru's hips. Encouraging Shikamaru into a roll was easy enough, setting the pace was hard because when he tried Shikamaru's retaliation was to lean down further and gently lav at the nipple he hadn't been rolling between his fingers.

 

Another roll of Shikamaru's hips, paired with the attention to his chest drew a quiet groan from Neji. He felt Shikamaru's answering shudder, the slight hiss of breath at the noise and the twitch of his leg muscles as he tried to keep the tempo steady. Neji helped by curling one hand around Shikamaru's left hip, guiding without controlling. He leaned up as he did so, jarring Shikamaru a little, and he grabbed the pointed chin so he could slant their mouths together.

 

“Neji, are we...together?”

 

The question blindsided Neji, who froze briefly. Shikamaru continued to trace the scar on his chest, brows furrowed. “Naruto says we're like a dull married couple,” Neji said at last. Shikamaru looked up, a ghost of a grin on his face.

 

“And what do you say?”

 

Neji considered it only briefly. “Not quite married,” he said. “But I don't plan on going anywhere.”

 

For a long moment Shikamaru just stared back at him, dark eyes carefully hooded. Then, he sent Neji a smile that creased his eyes and made Neji's heart skip a beat. It was oddly heady, being able to make Nara Shikamaru, who so rarely grinned for anyone, look like that. No, look at Neji like that.

 

“Well then,” he said, but didn't add anything. Instead, he pressed his lips to the middle of Neji's chest, and Neji stroked a hand through his loose hair.

 

“Well then,” Neji agreed, sighing when warm lips trailed lower. Neji's fingers tangled a little more firmly in his hair, even as Shikamaru's tongue briefly dipped into Neji's bellybutton, earning Shikamaru a small smile. Shikamaru kissed just under his belly button as if it was his own smile back and Neji let a laugh out. “Feeling shy tonight?”

 

“Mmm,” Shikamaru said, lips still against Neji's lower abdonmen. Neji gently tugged so Shikamaru had to look at him.

 

“If you don't want to, don't,” he said and Shikamaru responded with another kiss.

 

“I was just thinking,” Shikamaru said. Neji arched an eyebrow in silent question. “It feels different.”

 

Neji knew what he meant, but still he asked, “should I go to the hospital?”

 

Shikamaru snorted, and in one vicious tug had Neji's underwear down around his knees. “Once upon a time,” he said, fingers raking through the short hairs around Neji's cock, “you had no sense of humour. Now look at us.”

 

Neji didn't squirm, because he was a well trained shinobi, but he did have to try to avoid bucking at the hot breath that brushed certain very sensitive body parts. “I suspect no one would have expected we would ever be here,” Neji agreed. Shikamaru gave another snort of laughing, resting his head on Neji's thigh. “What, you don't agree?” Neji asked as innocently as he knew how.

 

“No, I do,” Shikamaru said, “I'm just glad, I guess. That no one would have guessed.” He pressed his lips to Neji's thigh. “I'm glad because being able to see you like this is a pleasant surprise,” he pressed his next kiss to the dip in Neji's hipbone. “It's an amazing surprise to get to do this,” he raked teeth over the spot. “And it's beyond words, to have...” he trailed off, fingers trailing lazily along Neji's length.

 

“To have what?” Neji asked, struggling to keep his voice from shaking at the feel of callused fingertips and hot breath.

 

“You look at me like that,” Shikamaru said and finally stopped teasing in the general sense to tease in the much more pointed sense, a long, slow lick from root to tip that had Neji's hips jerking. Shikamaru made no attempt to restrain him, a red splash clear across his nose and cheekbones.

 

“Shikamaru,” he tried to say, but Shikamaru seemed to have decided he'd said too much, and the best thing for it was to keep his mouth busy. A warm, rough tongue circled once around his glands and he groaned softly as Shikamaru lowered his head. The gentle press of tongue and hollowed cheeks had him biting at his forefinger.

 

It was too easy, he thought muzzily, to get lost in the slow, soft touches and the quiet. Way too easy to forget to regulate. Too easy to want to just give in entirely to the flick of tongue, the pressure of lip-blunted teeth and and-

 

“Fuck,” he practically yelled as he felt the semi-unfamiliar flutter of muscles. Suddenly feeling overwhelmed, he tugged at Shikamaru's hair. “Fuck, stop,” he said and Shikamaru pulled off rather quickly.

 

“Neji?” he asked, sounding slightly raspy already and looking very flushed.

 

“This will be very one sided, very very quickly if we go down that route,” Neji told him, tugging him still further up. Shikamaru flushed harder, and Neji wrapped and arm around his waste, kissing him hard. When they parted, Shikamaru looked down his nose at something, going adorably cross eyed and Neji snorted, rolling them over.

 

“One sided is okay,” Shikamaru said, wriggling. “I was having fun.” He grinned up at Neji, and Neji had to laugh again.

 

“Oh were you?” he asked, reaching down. The answer groan when he wrapped his hand around Shikamaru made him grin wider, “look at that. You were having fun.”

 

“I was, I was,” Shikamaru assured him, voice breaking a bit as Neji repeated his action.

 

“Were you really?”

 

“Ooh yeah. Still am,” Shikamaru said and pulled Neji into kiss, teeth nipping at Neji's lower lip, fingers scrapping Neji's scalp. “I'm having fun,” he murmured as they pulled away for breath, dipping back in.

 

“Good,” Neji said, “want to have more fun?”

 

Shikamaru's eyes flashed, “you can bet your ass yes.”

 

“Mine, or yours?”

 

* * *

 

Shino, of all people, had once joked that Neji must have some odd kinks, if his chosen partner was someone who surely must be only one step above a coma patient or a dead man. People had laughed, and Neji had demurred from engaging in any repartee. Then they'd teased him over not protecting his lover's honour, to which Neji had replied _shinobi don't need honour, breath is better._

 

The truth was, it was better for Neji if no one knew the truth.

 

If no one knew the way Shikamaru looked with the light at his back, head thrown back. Or the way his lashes lowered until only slivers of his eyes were visible. The way he bit his lip until it was red to keep from making too much noise. Or better, the way sometimes noises managed to escape anyway, breathy and low. The way the thin sheen of sweat on his tanned skin made him practically glow. How very _not_ comatose he looked in these moments.

 

And no one, absolutely no one, had to know how alive he made Neji feel.

 

Especially because he didn't even have to really do anything. Just laying here, after everything, Shikamaru dozing on top of him – a habit Neji probably should dissuade, actually – left Neji relaxed and yet elated. Feeling Shikamaru's steady breath on his cheek didn't even bother him. Idly, he raked his fingers through Shikamaru's loose hair, earning a lazy kiss to his cheek.

 

“You like me,” Shikamaru muttered and Neji felt his mouth curve.

 

“Do not,” Neji said, “you got me put on decoding duty.”

 

Shikamaru chuckled, rolling off him and then spooning into his side. From this angle, Neji could see the glint in his eyes. “Kakashi did that,” Shikamaru said, pressing another kiss to Neji's shoulder. “And you still like me anyway.”

 

Neji really did, and given what they'd just spent the better part of an evening doing, couldn't actually deny it further without playing along with Shikamaru's apparently impish mood. He got like this sometimes, late at night when he knew no one was watching.

 

“Don't tell anyone,” he said instead and Shikamaru chuckled again.

 

“And risk the competition? Who knew what would happen if I told people you could actually smile.”

 

“Funny,” Neji said, shifting onto his own side so they were nose to nose. “I was thinking the same thing.”

 

Shikamaru cocked an eyebrow, and Neji ducked in for a kiss. A painting on the wall behind Shikamaru caught his eye. Neji knew their clothes were still on the floor, and the room smelt like sweat and sex and even kind of the udon.

 

“Neji?” Shikamaru interrupted his sudden studies. “See something?”

 

_Feet padded on the ground behind Neji, only loud because the city was completely still. No, the city was gone. Timbers creaked and ash carried on the wind, and Neji had slipped the triage line the second someone put him on the lowest tier. The person settled next to him on the piece of broken wall Neji had found, away from the hustle and overseeing the damage._

 

“ _Your mother is well?” Neji asked after moment, not turning to look at Shikamaru. He got a hum in response. “I saw Shikaku-sama,” he added to explain why he wasn't asking after the older Nara._

 

“ _They're okay. Hanabi and Hiashi-sama?”_

 

“ _Fine,” Neji said. Silence reigned for another moment._

 

“ _You?”_

 

“ _Fine.”_

 

_More silence. Then -_

 

“ _It's hard to see it so trashed, huh?” Neji finally turned to look at Shikamaru. A bruise took up the better part of his face, at least from this angle, and his wrist had been wrapped. “I suppose we can see it as an opprotunity to rebuild a failing infrastructure industry.”_

 

_Shikamaru snorted, and turned to him. Despite the destruction and emptiness around them, he was still relaxed. “Your newfound optimism is heart warming, Neji.” Shikamaru said. Neji smirked, the somber atmosphere not effecting him._

 

“ _You like it.”_

 

_Shikamaru shrugged, but was still smiling. And Neji let the silence return, this time not so tense. And if he was being honest, it really didn't look so empty now._

 

“Neji?” Shikamaru repeated, and Neji absently pressed a kiss to his forehead.

 

“Nothing to worry about,” he said.

 

Outside, far off and beyond the Hokage's mountain, thunder rolled.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be porn. This is not porn of any particular definition, brief interlude aside. Ah well, I'm actually pretty happy with it! Not beta'd of course, as always if you're interested feel free to offer. I'm not entirely pleased with it either, I was dabbling with more effusive prose/atmosphere this time around and it just kind of got away with me.
> 
> As ever, not beta'd by it took bloody long enough I think I caught most of the more painful mistakes.


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